By: Elise Dunlap
I grew up in a household divided by food. One parent was more focused on healthy eating than the other, and it was always a subject of contention in our household. Like most Americans, I have a family history of cancer, autoimmune diseases, strokes, heart attacks, diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Growing up, everyone I knew considered our family to be healthy. Fruit and egg burritos for breakfast, salad with our “real” dinner every night, but donuts and pizza on the weekend. You know, “balanced.”
The first time my health took a dive was when I was in high school (around 2013). I started dealing with lots of tension, especially in my shoulders and neck, sometimes to the point of tears if they were even lightly touched, so I started seeing a chiropractor, which seemed to help quite a bit. I also started experiencing fatigue and intense depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. After an intense episode of depression where I laid in bed all day and skipped school without telling anyone, I went to see a therapist and got put on some typical antidepressants (Wellbutrin and Prozac). I didn’t feel like myself at all. The medications seemed to suppress my emotions and make things feel really one-note, but it was enough of an improvement that I wasn’t feeling as suicidal as I had been.
Feeling overwhelmed by school, I dropped out of two of my three Advanced Placement (AP) courses. At this time, I was exercising pretty intensely. I would wake up and do P90x with my parents in the morning, and I had swim practice after school. I was very fit. Despite the brightness of my future everyone was always telling me about, I always dreamed of something better than how I was experiencing my day-to-day reality.
After graduating, I left for college at Southern Virginia University. Living in a dorm, I was required to have a meal plan. I’ve always been a big eater and a binge eater if there’s desserts within a ten-mile radius, and the college buffet was now all mine for the taking. I ate plenty of fruits and vegetables, but I also indulged in all kinds of sweet treats and fried foods, including the ice cream bar after every lunch and dinner. I would gorge on three breakfast scones and smuggle three more of them out of the cafeteria for later.
At college, I was taking a karate class and still managed to stay “fit” with that two-hour class each week. However, my coursework was suffering, and my mental health was plunging again. I was “that roommate who was always asleep.” I would sleep ten hours at night and take a five-hour nap during the day. My depression and anxiety continued to worsen.
Realizing that I had no money, I started to rent out my bishop’s basement the next spring and got a job at a Wendy’s just out of town. I sat in on some courses, but I wasn’t getting credit anymore because I had debts with the school that I had to pay off first. I ate lots of Frosties, chicken sandwiches and burgers because of where I was working, and unknown to me, I started to gain weight. I also started having terrible seasonal allergies which were worse than I thought could exist. My depression and anxiety became crippling. I had a panic attack at work one morning after dealing with a rude customer. I soon realized that I needed to go back home. I was sick, depressed, and out of money.