“I asked myself, ‘Why am I unwilling to go all in?’”

By: Mallory Barrick

I have wanted to share my whole food, plant-based diet journey for quite a while now, but I didn’t know if I could do it. My journey has been so different than what I hoped it would be when I began eating this way. I have finally decided to share my story and my insights, in hopes that this different type of journey might help someone else.

For a couple of years, I struggled with pretty intense abdominal and pelvic pain. I visited several doctors and specialists trying to get an idea of what was going on, but they told me that everything seemed fine. Still, I tried various prescription medications, probiotics, and even had a procedure to remove a small amount of endometriosis. I was glad to know there was nothing seriously wrong, but what was I supposed to do about this persistent mystery pain?

In the summer of 2017 we drove across the country for a family reunion and I ended up getting the books The China Study, Forks Over Knives, and How Not to Die from the library to take with me. Over the course of the trip, I couldn’t stop thinking about a plant-based diet and all the benefits, even miraculous healings, that seemed to come as a direct result. On the way home I searched the internet for “Mormon vegans” because I wanted to know if this lined up with my beliefs. I found many of Jane Birch’s articles online. After learning about the diet from a scientific perspective and adding in how it worked so well with the Word of Wisdom, I felt a strong prompting: “This is the way you need to eat.” I told my husband, who I had been sharing all of this information with along the way, and we stopped eating all animal products overnight.

I hoped and even expected that my pain would disappear quickly after making the change, but it lingered on. To this day I am not completely pain free, and that has been disappointing for me. I had read all the amazing stories, and I wondered why God didn’t love me as much as he seemed to love everyone else that was healing. On top of that, my husband and I continued to struggle with infertility. Where were the promised blessings?

But first I must admit that although we got rid of animal and dairy products quickly, we were lenient on processed foods and oils. We were still trying to make the foods we loved, but we didn’t know how to do that without some processed and packaged items. After a few years of struggling with fully taking out all oils and processed foods and still experiencing lingering pain I asked myself, “Why am I unwilling to go all in?Even if the pain would subside little by little, wouldn’t it be worth it?” For me the answer was finally, “Yes.”

As a result I have more turned to eating whole plant foods, instead of trying to make extravagant vegan meals and copycat recipes. I feel like it was something I was missing in the beginning. I now make meals for my family that are a simple combination of whole plants, minimally processed and simply served. I have found it to be delicious.

After having done this for a little while now, I have come to realize that I too have been blessed. Here are a few of my takeaways:

1. I wanted my body to change, but I didn’t realize how much my spirit could change. After switching to this diet, I felt an increase of compassion and love, I became open to the value of all life, and I experienced a new gratitude for God’s beautiful creations. I certainly felt all these things on some level before changing to a whole food, plant-based diet, but after making the switch I noticed how much each of these things was amplified in my life. I feel so different toward all living things, and it makes me feel more whole.
2. I remember when we first started researching this way of eating I heard someone who had been eating a plant-based diet for a long time say, “I think I love my food more than anyone eating a SAD diet loves their food.” I feel that way now! I absolutely love the taste and flavors of simple plant foods! I can eat a potato without anything on it because I love the taste of potatoes! Fruit is so sweet. Vegetables have such a variety of flavors and textures. I love these foods so much, and my love for them is increased because I eat them with gratitude for the vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, and abundance of nutrition they provide for my body.
3. One final thought is that although my body hasn’t healed in the way that I wanted or in the time that I wanted, I have still come to respect and love my body and the miracle it is. I realize I haven’t always fed it nutritious food or cared for it through exercise and good sleep. I really believe my body is always moving towards healing and good health, and now I feel strongly that I am giving it the nutrition it needs. I wanted healing to happen instantly, but I think that our bodies heal over time. And each meal I eat can either contribute to its ability to heal or detract from that. I am doing my best to contribute to that healing and keeping the hope that someday I will be free from pain. I feel gratitude that despite the pain I still experience, I have been blessed to still have the energy and ability to be a mother to my children. I know this way of eating increases my energy levels and lessens the pain so that I can be present in my daughters’ lives. And I may never know what I have avoided had I continued to eat a poor diet.

I love eating this way. I have been blessed with two beautiful daughters, and I love sharing healthy plant-based meals with them. I love watching them enjoy eating foods like radishes, mushrooms, kale, and broccoli. I love the way my one-year-old lights up around strawberries and melons. I feel that part of my responsibility as a mother is to care for their bodies by feeding them well and giving them the nutrition they need to grow and thrive. My hope is that by feeding them this way they will be able to avoid any of the pain I have struggled with for years and will grow up to be healthy and active.

Mallory Barrick (29) lives in Idaho Falls, Idaho with her husband and two young girls. They have been eating a plant-based diet for over 3 years now. She created a WFPB course with her husband to share their journey of transitioning to a WFPB diet and how they overcame many common obstacles. She also has two WFPB Cookbooks (Earth Fed Family & Whole Plant Foods) where she shares her family’s favorite WFPB Oil-Free meals and recipes. She loves to blog, be in nature, homeschool, meditate, garden, and dreams of living in a tiny house on some land someday. She also loves to connect with other people who eat a WFPB diet. Come say “hi” on Instagram @sonder.ity.